#and my headache is killing me

[pebiejeebies]

Soo I wanna talk about my (possibly) chronic illness, because I’m so tired of this.

My reason to self diagnose: I have to self diagnose, my dad doesn’t believe in “disorders and disabilities (specifically ones like chronic illness, he normalized it in such a horrific way, it made me feel like I was an odd one out when I realized how healthy everyone else is)” *please don’t hate him, we don’t have money for much things anyways, it’s fine*

If you hate self diagnosis, just leave and spare both of us,

For now I wanna talk about what makes me feel like I have chronic illness, and that is literally being sick, I’ll be generally talking about everything painful/tiring that has been affecting me for over a year now..

TW: Mentions self harm/hate, gore, of gag/spit/vomit, dizziness, unease, etc. if you are sensitive to this topic please read at your own risk,,

Let’s start, so lately ive been accidentally swallowing mucus, all day, all night, to the point I have to breathe from my mouth, which COMPLETELY destroys my smell and taste. Especially when I get the common cold..

Barely any mucus comes from my nose, it’s almost ALWAYS my throat and saliva, to the point I started to think my saliva and mucus have been completely combined now. Like.. literally.

my breath always stinks, minty tastes really sucks and I hate toothpaste, I hate the mint and the texture, I’ve tried some things like these little bottles of meds for the cold, but they NEVER worked.

I almost always have a headache, my heartbeat has went from my normal 60/70bpm to 90/120 min/max.. and I always get voice changes, sometimes too deep, sometimes too high, and sometimes I lose my voice.

AND YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY?! I LOVE SINGING. ITS LITERALLY MY SPECIALTY, MY ONLY TALENT THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ABANDONING IT LIKE THE REST OF MY FAILED TALENTS, AND IT FUCKING SUCKS SO MUCH WHEN MY VOICE CHANGES.

I’m sorry.

back to my point, when I cry, I feel like my mucus explodes from everywhere, my throat, nose, eyes, and when I blow my nose too hard it hurts my ears for a while.

I’m so tired, I can barely run, I don’t wanna say I have asthma, but maybe I’m just not energetic and lazy.. or something.. and I CANT. I repeat.. I CANT. SLEEP.

It’s almost physically impossible (unless I stay up for too long to the point I slowly faint to sleep, which has been normal now for me)

did I mention my constipation? (Maybe this isn’t related, I’m just curious what makes someone chronically ill, especially since I’ve had constipation for around a year now)

I can’t sleep, smell, sing, cry (I hate crying so much, it’s become so terrifying and horrible) laugh, (cause all the mucus chokes me and makes me gag and almost vomit.

oh how I wish I could just rip out my throat and replace my nose and throat for a working one. How I wish I could breathe normally, to smell, to sing properly, to walk properly without my legs hurting or straining, to laugh and cry without choking and gagging, spitting mucus in the bathroom for what seems like 30 minutes, to think properly without a headache, to feel NORMAL again. It’s been a year or two now. Cant I just feel like a normal person again?

God why do I turn everything into a fucking vent.

Edit: does this mean I am chronically ill?

[lovelooksgudonu]

quick Vi doodle, i have no excuse idk how to draw her tattoos

[turrondeluxe]

[psychojetcocktail]

He is literally me

[tevintersnakes]

[ 7/100 Melee ] [ 1 STR ] 16 Strikes.

Congratulations Mr. Sallow for your promotion to the top of Dr. Antyllus' shit list! He promises to study up on this bloodthirst thing you've recommended and come back in 30 more levels.

Here's a short drabble.

[notsosecretlyalesbian]

"At a time when my life felt scattered and incomplete, the fantasy world of The Parent Trap, and the warm and maternal presence of Chessy, provided me with a dream of gluing the pieces of it together. The film, though not explicitly queer, still provides a sort of utopia of queer acceptance, connection and love. [...] Some days I still think that maybe all I need is a hug from Lisa Ann Walter and I will be all right." - Michael Elias (x)

Lisa Ann Walter as Chessy in The Parent Trap (1998)

[windcarvedlyre]

I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.

In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.

But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.

The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:

The actual perpetrator.

We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.

And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.

Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.

For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.

It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:

But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.

He died afraid.

If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.

Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.

The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.

[conchiferrous]

enies lobby

original

[souenkun]

I love yewww questionable merchants from old-era japan who lives for a totally different quest from their day jobs ❤️

[ttvck]

ok. all i could manage today. falls over

[redthemarten]

This was fun!

(also don't get me wrong, electro characters are super OK. It's just that somehow I don't feel like there's one that quite does it for me yet, you know;;; it felt wrong to put just anyone along my other #1s)

Template from here <3

[nell0-0]

Some people really shouldn't be allowed to drive. Someone hit me with the car from behind so back to feeling shitty I go (so tired of this istg)

[pastellguts]

haven't drawn lesbians lately. I hope you'll forgive me lesbians

[bacchuschucklefuck]

love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest

[kenmaiii]

ghost type trainersona moment 🖤 +extras and pokemon team below!

-a sweetheart!!!!! -the kind of person who'd be more likely to befriend all the really grown middle-aged people at their job and get along fairly well with the elderly -theyve always had a very generally gloomy outward disposition (unintentionally. like literal black aura hovering in the air over them) which people usually find intimidating, this further saddens them bcuz they mean well and are just quite softspoken 😭 -this also often causes bad weather to happen near them sometimes, so they tend to keep to themselves for the sake of others usually -wish they had a green thumb but its hit or miss on gardening probably. they fully believe plants may not like them but they still try! desperately so! -they take a lot of things very literally sometimes or take a moment to understand things -i pair them with Avery (and they do have kids later on) but honestly they are my doll to play house with whoever yay ^-^ -they also have a phantump they spoil and a ceruledge thats newer to the team whos still getting acquainted with the whole team dynamic -yes I do think that 99% of her pokemon give Avery a hard time since they really adore their trainer

[chakotaybodypillow]

Was trying to figure out some of the prodigy time traveling by visualizing it….

and realized I sounded familiar…..

It was only a matter of time before I turned into this crazy bastard